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Nothing Tastes Good – Kat Lively

Nothing appeals to my palette
Not Cigarettes, caffeine, not sleep.
Howl at the moon in a black jacket, find the smile underneath.
Numb as pavement, yesterdays IV from a virus, today’s discharge paperwork, saline stench.
No more blood drawn in the night,
Hospitals are today, yesterday, one day last.
Dad is hallucinating and cut up from his heart transplant.
Same dad who taught me to play catch.
I sang to him, to keep him awake-
So the nurse could shove meds down his throat.
The one relative in Anaheim calls,
Only one who would answer the phone at this hour-
Says to me, “where have you been?”
And I scream, “where have YOU been? My dad is withering.”
I miss you.
You don’t miss me.
I only called to vent my heartbreak, now goodbye.
Ex who fucked me over calls.
I miss you.
You don’t miss me.
Says “I was wrong.”
And I say, “you’re too fucking late.”
You chewed me up and spit me out.
You should have gotten to me sooner if you wanted to do damage.

Why am I so strong?

Why can’t I be weak for once and just lay down and be average?
Why am I not on the ground broken?
Under this moonlight, on this bench alone in Palo Alto.

How the fuck am I still hopeful after all of what I’ve been through?
Remember to take my antibiotics. No more hospitals. No more.
Same dad who taught me to play catch
Same dad who is hallucinating,
Taught me to never give in to pain.
Taught me that anything I can set my mind to, will be done.
There it is.
$60 in my pocket, back to LA, new job awaits,
Greyhound in 2 days.
Music calls, Adeline calls, my only concrete.

My only absolutes in this life.
There it is.

There’s my reason why.

by Kat Lively

Kat Lively is the lead vocalist/songwriter and rhythm guitarist In the Los Angeles based punk rock band, Psychic Wine. She has been writing poetry since she was a child and is currently working on her debut book due out in October. She is also an artist and alternative model.

Check her out on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/onekatlively/

You can also have a listen to Christiaan Pasquale’s latest podcast with Kat here.. https://soundcloud.com/user-256797062/tfmfr-ep-17-kat-lively-and-psychic-wine

 

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