*”Femininity is a set of attributes, behaviours, and roles generally associated with girls and women.”
That’s how it is defined.
Now let me tell you why that’s bullshit, and what it means to me.
Femininity as a concept does not only belong to women. Anybody can display feminine qualities and these should be willingly embraced. It is beautiful to be in touch with your feminine side.
I’ve met perfectly compassionate and emotionally fluid people who display empathy and a softer approach to life and I would call that femininity.
I have also met empowered sexual creatures who only speak with teasing lips and taunting hips and I would also call that femininity.
There is certainly a difference in how we approach and navigate life, but I strongly believe this to be a person-to-person and not a gender-to-gender rule of thumb.
Femininity is learning to celebrate the true essence of what makes us feel more connected to our feminine spirit.
And this exists in every shade and style of person.
What is it that makes you feel feminine?
Femininity is letting the hair on my body grow until it looks like 5 o’clock shadow on me.
Slow roasting in my gender bending
Growing muscles so I can play with the big boys. It’s sexy and it’s my choice.
Femininity is giving myself natural beauty days where I wear no makeup at all.
So much of what we’ve been shown is that our worth is measured by our beauty.
But this is not so.
Femininity is giving myself clearance to be in touch with and at the mercy of my emotions.
There is nothing sexier than somebody who is willing to talk shit out.
Emotional labour has historically been seen as a ‘woman’s work’, but this idea belongs to humanity as a species. This consciousness and capability connect us in this intimate environment.
The ability to define and discuss our emotions is cause for celebration, feminine or otherwise.
The attributes of femininity are yours to define. Take pride and power in searching this spirit.
Pierce your ears or write a song.
Create something soft and meaningful for someone you love, or, just have an honest and loving conversation with yourself.
And hey, if you need to have yourself a good cry afterwards, then you go right ahead.
Femininity, by Erin Incoherent