Where did it all begin?
It all started when I was molested by President Richard M. Nixon circa 1974. I knew then that I was a punk for life!
Why did you choose to sing?
If you’re in a band you should always sing. Singers get all the pussy! I do play guitar, but so badly that it’s almost criminal.
Major influences? A specific song? Etc.…
Cab Calloway, Frank Zappa, the Music Man, Jesus Christ Superstar, The Archies, Chocolate Watch Band, 13th Floor Elevators, the Misfits, the O’Jays, WuTang Clan, Slick Rick, Gloria Gaynor, Mel Torme, the Cars, Judy Garland, Earl Johnson and his Clodhoppers.
Successes and failures along the way
It’s all been success straight down the line. I’m rich and famous beyond my wildest dreams with an enormous penis and the love of my peers.
Any funny stories – lessons learned?
Recommendations for those wanting to get into the business
Quit now while you still have a chance.
What’s in store for The Dwarves in 2018?
Touring on our new record The Dwarves Take Back the Night! It’s another instant classic. Also, hyping my podcast We Got Issues where I give advice to people who are dumb enough to ask me for advice!
Did you ever play an instrument?
Clarinet was my first instrument. I wasn’t very good at it. Then I switched to guitar, where I wasn’t very good, but I could sing along with it. Then I realised, singers get all the pussy and I was hooked!
Do you enjoy singing?
I sing when I’m paid a lot of money to do it.
What would be your dream setup?
I want 12 hot black backup singers.